Jonathan

Seeds in the Bag


there are two reasons
for me
to write
when
I have something to say
and
when
You do
by grace for grace
I beg
thank
or scream
maybe at once
or more
now my mind
Your easel and mine
is the white silence
of
all the colors of light
my children home
( the easier three)
the oldest okay
and no new pain
shrieking and stabbing
through the old
I simply am
(not waiting)
and You
paint as You will




wanting the flames to hurt


as I slowly pull away
from what
temptation
fools
me
into
believing I want
toward
what
You want
beginning to feel
aware
of the wrongness of sin
of the hurt
increasing in my body
(that I can manage
though
not very well
it is not unholy)
I sit
wondering
how long
until
my will
wil help
with the struggle
to follow Yours
and emotion
will pull me
too
as I lie
at Your feet
and know that
eventually
I will also be aware
that You
are
trying
to pull me up




Steve Dalachinsky Jesse Auchter George Kerr Bruce Stater Colin Van Der Woude Jonathan Mark Phillips