Sunday, July 01, 2001

Rae Burton

The Insecure World of The Blind Clown

Keep on digging up brand new ideas
   facing the day of hell on earth which is New Year's Eve
Locked up with no chance of parole or receiving visitors
   then comes the day when all emotions disappear for good.
I never realised i was in hell until it was too late
   but we all live in one kind of hell
You can't go outside to play when it's pouring with rain
   because there are more puddles than jackets.

I watched the explorer once as he was exploring
   i could run fast but he could always run much faster
And i screamed aloud but he could always scream louder
   now i am walking down this lonely road alone.

Desperation has once again entered into my life
   if i listen hard enough i can hear God laughing at me
Sometimes it's as if even the poetry seems incomplete
   maybe i finally have become my own worst enemy.

Why work when you can play?
if you think you know the real me sorry you don't,
When it isn't good but as good as it's ever going to get
with 456 poems written ten times over.
I'm never what you expect to see
what monsters in my head giving false answers weekly,
Acts of pure weakness hang around like smells from a lavatory
eyes see but not always the truth.

it is possible to live without knowing it
kiss the wind and those liars play their cruel games,
One day every answer will show itself loud and clear
for now i believe this game is real.
Every one of us born with a killing instinct
as mighty as the devil can make a sound,
The truth hurts me like a knife deep in my soul
life is a cruel game and i must find the missing link.

Rae Burton: I am 30 years old and i suffered a nervous breakdown a few years ago which lead to a few problems but it also brought a new strength to my writing as i find it easier writing down my thoughts and feelings than actually speaking. Although i am no longer considered at risk to myself and no longer have to hear the b.s my shrink threw at me the thought of suicide goes through my mind everyday but i have learned to fight it.

Rachel Harper Joseph Colin Van Der Woude William Cannon Rae Burton Peter Wilson

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